Persistence

When does ‘looking at’ turn into watching? And when does watching become staring? I’m not paranoid, really. But everyone is staring at me. I suppose I stand out. Often I am the only non-Indian on a bus, train compartment, in a restaurant- even in a whole town sometimes. The kids stare sometimes, sure. I seem to fascinate them. They might come up and ask me where I am from. They are cute.

But its the adults. Men usually. Non-descript men with moustaches on buses, in restaurants and chai stalls. The women may look- for a polite moment. But the men look, watch and then watch some more and despite looking straight back at them, watch some more. I call that staring.

Its hard to work out whats behind it all. Curiosity? Malice? Attraction? Boredom? Sometimes I have tried smiling. I’d say half the time it works. They shoot back a very warm, open smile in return. But the other times they just keep staring stoney-faced. They watch with fascination how I open a water bottle, or eat a biscuit or read Lonely Planet.

Often, while travelling here I find many people open up friendly conversations. But its rarely the starers. Even if the smile tactic works and they smile back, they dont talk, but continue watching.

When you feel on top of the world it doesnt affect you. But tired, hungry, or in a bad mood these stare-people really get under your skin, like they are watching every move you make. I guess the whole idea of private space, personal space is very different in a country of almost 1 billion people.